How to Navigate a Taarof

By Tabby Refael

A taarof has two components: Acceptance or rejection. Or both. Or neither. I really hate taarofs.

1) How to Properly Accept Food that a Persian is Offering You When You are Ravenously Starving, but Don’t Want to Seem Impolite:

Thank the person profusely, vigorously nod your head as if it’s attached to your neck by a delicate slinky, and thank them again. Gently reject their first offer and thank them again. Gently reject their second offer, keep nodding your head up and down, and smile until it hurts. Gently reject their third offer, thank them again, lower your eyes, and cower. Accept their fourth offer, but take only a quarter of the portion of whatever it is you've been eyeing for an hour, whether a cup of tea, some delectable fruit or pastries, or some savory stew.

2) How to Properly Reject Anything a Persian is Repeatedly Offering You, Whether Food, a Ride, or an Amateur Physical Examination:

Not Applicable/Possible