The Literal Glory of Persian

By Tabby Refael

Disclaimer: It's not 'Farsi' if you're referring to the language in English.

I love the Persian language for many reasons. I first said "I love you" in Persian, and I uttered my first curse (not a curse word, but an actual curse) in Persian. Sadly, the recipient of both was the same person: my imaginary friend, Bobak.

I also love Persian because it is so. damn. literal.

Join me on this linguistic journey of literal translations that still make me blow cold doogh from out of my nose with laughter...when I stop and really think about what each of the following means:

CATEGORY: mishaps

Persian: zameen khordam!

Translation: I fell down.

Literal translation: I ate the floor.

In a way, don't we all eat a little bit of floor when we fall?

CATEGORY: curses

Persian: zahreh mahr

Translation: shut up

Literal translation: May snake venom go down your throat and render you speechless.

This saying is particularly apt when watching Iranian leaders give speeches about how much they've accomplished for the country.

CATEGORY: sentiments

Persian: kheylee chasbeed

Translation: that was really good/that suited me well

Literal translation: that stuck...like glue.

Remember that I time I was watching the Iranian leader on TV and shouted at him, "Zahreh Mahr!"?? Ah, kheylee chasbeed.

CATEGORY: blessings

Persian: damet garm

Translation: well done

Literal translation: you did something so impressive, that you deserve to have warm breath. Not cold. Warm.

CATEGORY: sentiments

Persian: goh khordam

Translation: I feel regretful

Literal translation: I ate sh*t

Yes, I have eaten much 'goh' over the course of lifetime, and yet, I still feel that the best 'goh' is yet to come.

CATEGORY: food

Persian: Kaleh pacheh

Translation: head and foot stew (not human, but bovine)

Literal translation: head foot (there's not even an "and" in there; it's literally "head foot")

Go ahead and send your favorite options as well. If they're particularly thought-provoking, Damet Garm.